"Why don't you take these off, Sugah?" purred Nyota Uhura, sliding a provocative finger along the waistband of Spock's briefs.
Nyota was not a person to put much faith in the veracity of gossip, but now, as she embarked on a new chapter in her relationship with Spock, she had to admit to some anticipation in seeing if the numerous rumours about Vulcans were true.
She trailed her finger from his waistband down the edge of the sizeable bulge in front, then lay back luxuriously on his bed. And waited.
Whoever said Vulcans didn't know how to tease hadn't seen this one. Spock took the edge of his briefs, lowered them just enough for a tiny, tantalising glimpse, before deciding his socks needed removing first. And then his black thermal undershirt. His lips curled slyly.
Nyota growled. Her patience snapped, and she took matters - and Spock's underwear - into her own hands, dropping to her knees in front of him, and pulling so hard the material ripped in two.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, finding herself face to crotch with her favourite Vulcan.
"Oh," she said (a little disappointedly, Spock thought), when she'd had a better look. Nyota's brows creased in a way that made Spock feel a little self-conscious.
"Is there a problem?" He was unsure if he really wanted to hear the answer.
Nyota saw his worry. "No! Oh, no, Spock. It's just that..." She hesitated, searched for the most tactful phrasing.
Is that normal, Spock?
"Spock, did you inherit that from Amanda?" Damn. So much for the communications expert.
"I beg your pardon?" As if the mention of his mother somehow made her physically present, Spock's hands travelled southwards, forming a protective shield around the part of his anatomy he hadn't allowed his mother to see since he was four years old. "My... mother?" he squeaked.
Nyota blushed furiously. Beam me up, Scotty. Now. "Um..." She watched as Spock tried to remain stoic. And failed miserably. Apparently, even Vulcan males were sensitive about their genitalia. "Sit down, sugah," she soothed, patting the bed beside her.
He complied, but the cupped hands remained in place.
Nyota sighed. "I didn't mean to offend you, Spock. I was just... surprised. I guess I expected... that part of you to look... um, more Vulcan."
Spock's eyebrows fled into his hairline. "You believe that this is not the typical configuration of a Vulcan male?" He looked somewhat indignant. "It's green!"
"Well, yes. But, don't Vulcans have two ridges where human males have only one?"
"To my knowledge, all Vulcan males have a single penile ridge. I can think of no logical reason for such a feature to have developed."
Nyota frowned, confused. "But isn't it so that when the po--when your Time comes, it helps you to stay locked with the female long enough to ensure fertilisation?"
Spock's eyes widened. "That would seem rather... uncomfortable for the female, I would think. Where did you come by your information?"
"Oh," Nyota giggled nervously. "You know... a communications officer has many sources."
"You refer to rumours - 'gossip' is the term, I believe."
Nyota felt her face burn.
Spock's expression became curious. "What else have you heard about Vulcans?"
"About their--I mean, your...?"
"Well, Lieutenant Kravitz heard that you have tentacles that hold onto your partner..." she trailed off as she saw the look on his face. "And Lizzie Palmer said that Ensign Clark told her that she'd read about the Vulcan penis being capable of independent, rotational movement..." Spock's expression was one of total and honest disbelief. Nyota tried to hide her disappointment; she had hoped there had been some truth in that one.
"What else?" Spock probed.
"Does it smell like cinnamon?"
Spock lifted his hands, and Nyota leaned in experimentally. Spock's body had a typically masculine smell, not quite the same as that of a human, but while she might describe it as 'spicy', it wasn't cinnamon.
"Is there anything else, Nyota?"
She shrugged. "Not that I can think of."
Spock shifted a little closer to her. "Then do you wish to proceed with our previously planned activities, or shall I access the appropriate texts from the Vulcan medical database for your elucidation?"
"That won't be necessary," she whispered, reaching for the part of Spock that was more interested in doing than talking.
After several long hours of sexy, exploratory love-play, Nyota and Spock lay together, relaxed, happy and satisfied. Nyota snuggled into the warmth of Spock's chest.
"At least one of the rumours is true," she sighed. "Vulcans sure have a lot of stamina."
A quiet rumble emerged from somewhere deep in Spock's body. Nyota could only describe it as a contented purr. He was tired, sated, and not particularly interested in discussing rumours. But as Nyota watched Spock stretch out, a small, satisfied smile on his lips, and still purring softly, something made her ask, "Is it true that Vulcans are descended from cats?"
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